"I've tried so hard to do everything right… so why do I still feel unhappy, anxious, or stuck?"

If you've spent years trying to do everything 'just so', almost always responsible, thoughtful, and careful, but still feel stuck, anxious, or depleted, you're not alone. Many competent, keyed-in, conscientious people find that the very habits and coping strategies that once served them well (or well enough) are now limiting their life and freedom.

Learning to place yourself as a securely attached, interdependent equal

Many of my clients are thoughtful, high-functioning adults who have spent years putting others first, managing every detail, and trying to live "the right way." On the outside, life may appear under control-but internally, they often feel anxious, stuck, or quietly resentful. If this resonates, it's not a sign of failure; it's a sign that your usual coping strategies have reached their limits.

"One hour of compassionate deep listening can bring about transformation and healing"

- Thich Nhat Hanh -

Moving forward into self-regard and agency

In therapy, we explore and discover how frustrating, disappointing patterns developed, how they show up in your relationships (sometimes also in subtle ways in the therapy), and how they influence your sense of self and identity.

Working with me is not about quick fixes or finding the perfect diagnostic label that will explain everything so well that it 'poof' goes away. Those are shiny objects, but are not gold. Real psychotherapy is about gaining insight, building self-trust and trust with me, and trying new things in the face of uncertainty. Those things help you see how to live with greater clarity, authenticity, and agency / freedom.

The therapy process here is collaborative, reflective, and designed with an understanding of your experience and consideration of what I call your 'relational learning history'. (To be clear, we also have a history of how we have related to the world / life events, and to parts of our selves.)