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‘When Did I Learn How to Learn?’: A Vicious Circle Releaser

‘When Did I Learn How to Learn?’: A Vicious Circle Releaser

I recently read / re-read some things on perceptual control theory and method of levels therapy by Timothy Carey and others (2015, 2015). Then I had a few sessions that seemed to go with them, and to be positively influenced by them. How, indeed, to think and talk with someone who feels so very stuck--yet is trying to stay in the...[ read more ]

‘Beliefs’ Can Suddenly Change in a Crisis. *Experiences* Are Durable.

Old beliefs will not do for stopping a crisis of mindset. We need real experiences to learn from. I encountered some interesting thoughts today in my brief reading time: In my view, lately we can give weight to old, deep, unconscious "phantasies"--sometimes without realizing it. In normal life, we would not give much credibility to such material. "However, such phantasies...[ read more ]

A (Helpful) Mind-Twister?

“The conscious is the servant of the unconscious. It is the conscious whose job it is to lie and deceive and protect the unconscious in its activities.” –W.R. Bion, as quoted in N. Abel-Hirsch A strong statement, true. Still, in these information-saturated times, it is ironic that the more information we have, the more we feel empty, anxious, and frustrated....[ read more ]

A Quick ‘Transition’ in the Age of Telehealth Psychotherapy

Occasionally, it becomes clear that a client is having some trouble decompressing or transitioning after distance psychotherapy sessions. The fact that telehealth can occur anywhere that is secure and private, means that sometimes it gets squeezed right into a tight schedule--a schedule that then demands for time to sprint on, like nothing just happened. Or, sometimes the session takes place...[ read more ]

A Filmmaker’s ‘Apocalypse Completed’: Lost Soul

In the past couple years or so, I have found much fascination in the moviemaking documentary: Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau. This documentary is, I think, useful viewing for today, in addition to being intriguing. What happens when a sensitive, earnest, somewhat odd, true artist without guile, is met with a ‘red in...[ read more ]

Big Questions, No Answers?

Have you ever had someone important to you simply not answer one of the biggest questions you ever had? So long as they truly cared for you and did not make up a quick answer, give you a well-worn chestnut, or pressure you into accepting their rigid, fossilized answer…not answering was the best option they had. Possibilities: They did not...[ read more ]

Thoughts on “Lack”

Mentally / Emotionally, What 'Is' Depends on What 'Is Not'. Real thinking ability develops from changes in how we cope with “lack” (‘what I expected / wanted is not there!’). Similarly, the concept of ‘who or what I am’ develops out of wrestling with, or trying to fill up, ‘who or what I am not’. The struggle to organize a...[ read more ]

The Mechanics of, and Dealing with, Bullying: Pt. I

Dealing with bullies

Sometimes I hear apologists for bullies, their allies, or, if they finally get in trouble, bullies themselves, claim that they are simply being good rule-followers for everyone, or are just hard-headed, task-oriented and not very good at 'feelings' and social nuance. If the person is truly a bully, those statements are sneakily effective because they are socially plausible to bystanders,...[ read more ]

Relationships, Life Changes, Therapy, and Personality: Self-Confident Style

Self-confident: the need to be recognized and achieve

Who has a streak or main aspect of Self-Confident? Do you know someone who believes, no matter what happens, that they are exceptional? When treated unceremoniously, do they openly or silently protest until they get recognition? Is their desire for accomplishment and success almost brazen? Often, they are tough climbers, good at utilizing the strengths of others, and seasoned interpersonal...[ read more ]

Relationships, Life Changes, Therapy, and Personality: Self-Sacrificing Style

Help for helpers

Predominantly Self-Sacrificing individuals are what many would call the ‘salt of the earth’. For a first set of easily visible qualities, we can see in the Self-Sacrificing a giving nature, honesty, helpfulness, acceptance of others, loyalty, humbleness, patience, and willingness to tolerate discomfort for progress and for others. However, Self-sacrificing folks have a tendency not to suspect the dark or deceptive...[ read more ]