Reasons to Try a Male Therapist
137 female therapists listed, 19 male, and 16 non-binary: the results of my recent gender search of a popular therapist directory for my city of practice. Although perhaps male therapists are not advertising there (not likely), this tells me choices are much fewer for those who want, or might benefit from, what I will simply call a male therapist.
‘Might want or benefit from?’, you might ask?
Yes. First, however, I would say that a well-trained psychotherapist of any sex assigned at birth, gender, or sexual orientation can help many clients. However, a more specific fit with a male therapist is potentially better for some clients. In other situations, this is just as true regarding female or non-binary therapists.
Still, there can be, in each individual case, good reasons for picking a male therapist. Also, sometimes non-male clients automatically assume they are ‘supposed to’ prefer a non-male therapist.
Four Basic Reasons to Consider a Male Therapist
- Comfort
Male clients may still have lingering taboos about seeking professional help at all, and it may be easier to manage with a male therapist. Also, in male-male therapy there can be a shared male-body experience and less concern about gender-based mistakes. Finally, some clients of any gender may have had powerful, positive experiences with male figures and may select accordingly.
- Initially Bypass Personal Concerns About Relating to Non-Males
Clients with a history of difficulties (abuse, neglect, grief, heartbreaks and more) linked to non-male figures may have a safer-feeling start in therapy with a male therapist. Past conflicts with non-males can still come into play, but often later and more subtly. If the therapist is aware, such old conflicts can still be resolved—a win-win.
- Capitalize on Personal Concerns about Relating with Males
For the insightful and prepared client, a male therapist is a great choice, perhaps the best choice, to work on ‘issues with / about males’. Also, some clients need this but make the selection on autopilot, mystifying themselves in the process…until the therapist later points out a few things.
- While Getting Help, Learning ‘About’ Males and How They See and Do Things.
Have a clammed-up or upset male in your life? What does he want? What is he thinking? Why do they do things? It is true that therapist mind-reading at two degrees of separation is not possible. However, in your efforts with a male therapist to get your ducks in order, there can be important information gained. Some will be verbal, some learned by feel, attitude, and experience. Also, if client motives are open and healthy, male therapists can be specifically consulted to help the client improve their relationship with a male partner, friend, or spouse.